Wedding etiquette has changed through the decades. Any bride can wear white, pets can be part of the wedding ceremony, and – lately – grooms don’t hesitate to ask their favorite female friend to be their “best man”. And why not? That role is reserved for the best friend, and if the best friend is a female, it seems logical to choose her.

When a female assumes the role of the “best person”, as some are calling her, some things can remain the same but others will most likely change. The female best man can still be responsible for helping choose tuxes for the groomsmen, can assist the groom with other wedding plans or buying a wedding gift for the bride, and will no doubt make the toast at the wedding reception. However, the woman who has stepped into the best man role will probably have to realize that there are certain things that the groom will want to do with his guy friends only, including a bachelor party or other pre-wedding event. Furthermore, the best gal should be honest with her friend and let him know if there are any typical best man duties that make her uncomfortable.

The question of what the “best person” will wear can also be an issue. Many who’ve considered the option agree that they wouldn’t ask a male bridesmaid to wear a dress, so asking the female best man to wear a suit or tux would be inappropriate as well. Some couples have opted for a formal black dress for their best person, perhaps with a sash or other ornament that matches the bridesmaids. Others have simply opted for her to wear what the bridesmaids will wear. And some do indeed choose the tux or a formal pant suit. It’s a good idea to ask the best person what she is most comfortable wearing and take it from there, being sure that all are in agreement. In photos, be sure that the best person is standing next to the groom, the same place a traditional best man would stand in wedding photographs.

Remember, it’s the bride’s day AND the groom’s day, so keep an open mind when it comes to making this small gender shift.